What Does It Mean to Be a man?

A transgender man chronicles his journey and relationship to masculinity.

When I was in college, I wanted to be a cultural anthropologist when I grew up. I was taking anthropologically based courses, working with a mentor, and beginning to build connections in the world of academic anthropology.

The year of my graduation was 2009, however. The economy was shit (if you recall) and my mentor was brutally honest with me about the prospects of becoming an anthropologist and the likelihood of ever securing satisfying work in a city where I wanted to well, live.

I’d spent most of 2009 living in Mexico City working as an intern in a U.S. Embassy based educational program. I shook Hillary Clinton’s hand. The year prior, I’d watched Obama get elected from a bar inside Buenos Aires circa 4 a.m. I’d made it onto Univisión, the Spanish television network, as I was one of few ex-pats that could comfortably and coherently string together enough drunken Spanish at 4 a.m. to express my deep, guttural elation that we’d elected our first Biracial Black Man.

What on God’s green earth does any of this have to do with what it means to be a man? Well, I’m so glad you asked. My name is Daniel, Dani, or D for short, and this is, officially, the first column I am writing here on Medium. This is my launch post of Masculinity with D., my new column on yes, masculinity and what it means to be a man.

I’m a transgender male. My coming out journey began approximately one year ago and it has been one helluva ride — let me tell you. No one could have prepared me for this.

And you see, I started with the bit about cultural anthropology and my years spent in Mexico and Argentina because who I am, undeniably, will shape what this column becomes. I have a particular story to tell. I have a particular voice. I have a particular lens and life experience. I’ve interacted with, worked with, lived with, befriended, and yes, dated men…

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