Why is swipe fatigue so common?

Swipe. Swipe. Swipe. Swipe. Ugh.

Have you been using Tinder, or any other swipe-based dating app, in the hopes of finding a long-term relationship? You’re probably suffering from “swipe fatigue,” the feeling that using the app is a chore because you just can’t seem to find a suitable match.

Online dating isn’t supposed to feel like that. It’s supposed to be fun!

But DateAha! is here to rescue you from the tiring swiping patterns, and bring the excitement back to online dating! Here’s our guide to why swipe fatigue is so common, and how to fight against it.

Since it lets you match with (or reject) people so quickly, the swipe model pioneered by Tinder seems like it offers instant gratification.

And the model’s emphasis on rapid results, combined with a wider society so obsessed with instant gratification, has seriously damaged the way we look at dating.

It’s to the point where swipe apps have conditioned us to want fast dating results — at all costs.

Many people feel entitled to these swift results, so they aren’t willing to put in the work needed to cultivate a real relationship. And instant gratification fosters a hookup culture. This is why more people use Tinder to find quick, shallow flings rather than to seek lasting relationships and prioritize getting to know someone (further reducing your chances of finding a meaningful relationship).

Swipe apps also encourage matching with as many people as possible — they sell the lie that the more people you match and date in a short amount of time, the better your chances of success. But since most people aren’t putting in the effort, swipe-dating at this breakneck pace usually only leads to exhaustion.

In reality, cultivating a lasting relationship takes time and effort. You need to be able to evaluate the other person, both through messages and in person, to see if you’re compatible with each other (and make sure they don’t show any red flags).

On swipe apps, you’re only able to see potential matches’ photos, ages, and locations before you match with them. (Yes, they do usually have options for a short bio, but it’s harder to find, so the apps offer no real incentive to write or view a bio.)

So, these apps force you to decide whether you’ll match with someone based on looks alone — without getting to know their interests. And worse, they’ve wired your brain to make this decision within seconds.

As licensed marriage therapist Christie Tcharkhoutian explained to Better, “Our brain on dating apps has created a binary process of choosing the right person, where you have a few seconds to decide (based on a first impression of a few photos) whether you will swipe right or left. This is more of a reflex rather than a process that utilizes cognitive decision-making to see if a three-dimensional person is someone you can interact with over coffee or drinks, and if there is a connection.”

To truly find out whether you’re a good fit for someone, you’ll need to get to know them as a whole person, not just a picture. But learning about someone’s hobbies, interests, passions, and personality is far harder when you don’t have a dating profile to read — and when swipe apps’ design discourages you from investing the time to evaluate someone holistically.

The “Tinder algorithm” itself also contributes to swipe fatigue. (A version of this algorithm appears on all swipe apps, but Tinder was the first to use it, hence the name.) Unlike dating websites that don’t use the swipe model, the algorithm is the only way to find potential matches on swipe apps. That’s right, you can’t search out and evaluate potential matches beyond what is shown to you. You have to depend on a computer for results instead. So, if you’re having trouble finding a match on the app, this could be because the app rules out people you would be attracted to in real life!

Now that you know how swipe apps can negatively impact your dating choices (and make dating seem like a chore), consider using non-swipe dating websites (like Hinge) where getting to know someone is a priority. Here’s more on how to combat swipe fatigue and make online dating fun again, no matter which type of online dating platform you use.

DateAha! isn’t just a safety-minded extension, though. We make online dating fun again by helping you use dating sites for their real purpose — finding a meaningful relationship. We aren’t here for the hookup culture or the culture of instant gratification. We’re here to help make intentional dating much easier, thanks to our free messaging feature (so go ahead and send those meaningful questions — and take the time to get to know people!)

Related posts:

If I could write with the simplicity and straight-as-an-arrow truth that Tom Petty always brought to his songs, I’d have achieved something. Since I happen to know quite a few good songwriters and…

Her hand moved towards the chain. When she touched it, a small tingle raced up her arm, soft and fleeting like the wind from a bee’s wings. If not for her concentration she wouldn’t have noticed it…

Metode yang digunakan untuk memetakan Bakat dan Potensi Anak melalui 10 sidik jari. Hasilnya lebih Detail, Akurat dan Efisien. Selain itu bisa Konsultasi Online melalui video dan chat dengan psikolog…