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The Root

The root of the problem is systemic oppression and the consistent denial of my inalienable, human, constitutional, civil, citizens, and state residential rights. But I am supposed to accept this because YOU think I should? Which one of us is delusional?

You can’t even express humanity even during the most extreme times that this nation has EVER seen, yet I am the unstable one for calling out the atrocities? Again I ask, who is the delusional one?

You believe that you are qualified to judge, criticize, and condemn me and you aren’t even capable of seeing past your own bias? Again I ask, which one of us is the unstable one?

You attack, stalk, harass, derail, steal, obstruct, abuse, and lie as a practice but I am the one who is unstable?

You see self-defense as mental illness and don’t even recognize how or why you are conditioned to believe this. Should I allow myself and my loved ones to be injured and even killed without fighting for our safety, and protection during the most violent times this nation has incurred? But I am the one who doesn’t have a grip on reality?

I’m living reality, all day every day. It’s inescapable, the system ensures this. I don’t need someone to tell me what my own experiences are, what my thinking is, what my life looks like, I LIVE IT! I’ve been where you are, you have NEVER been where I have. I don’t have a fantasy bubble, I was never afforded that luxury. I don’t get to escape through any means, least of all through a delusion. The system doesn’t allow it. All marginalized people, particularly Black Americans, are pounded by reality all day every day. We aren’t given enough time to process one human rights violation before a host of others come along. Instead of you seeing a human in need of help to get through it, you place me, us, in the place of the abuser and claim you do it for “accountability”. What did you do to the abusers? Nothing. But I am supposed to accept that I am the sick on?

“I’m just doing my job” isn’t good enough. I’ve been in your shoes and chose not to violate and abuse, consistently, what’s your excuse?

You don’t recognize your own toxicity and abuse, so you certainly aren’t accountable for it. Yet I am the sick one?

How are you qualified to judge me when you can’t even face yourself, and I’m supposed to submit that regardless of how toxic it is? Which one of us is truly the unhealthy one?

I’m healthy enough to choose not to violate other people’s human rights.

I’m healthy enough not to intentionally cause harm but to advocate for the rights of those who have been impacted by it.

I’m healthy enough to address my own issues, as they come, relentlessly.

I am healthy enough to choose ethics, integrity, and supportive behaviors even under extreme duress.

I am healthy enough to confront abuse, those who abuse, and those who support that system of abuse.

I am healthy enough to hold people accountable when they violate my rights and the rights of others.

I am healthy enough to look inside myself and face everything, regardless of how painful it may be.

I am healthy enough to look at reality without slipping into a cognitive dissonance because I’m too “weak” to face reality.

I’m healthy enough to recognize that we all need to stand up and fight for both justice and equality because if we don’t, the world will continue to collapse into nothing.

I am healthy enough to analyze myself, accept responsibility for what I find, and make adjustments that are appropriate for my highest good.

I am healthy enough to see through the propaganda and toxic minutia to look for solutions and fight to have them heard.

I am healthy enough to protect myself, my children, and my entire community that has been under constant attack since the inception of this nation but even more so in the past six years.

I am healthy enough to advocate FOR ALL WHO face the same barriers, obstacles, and abuses that I face all day every day.

I am healthy enough to see people as individual human beings with their own thinking, circumstances, rights, responsibilities, and desires and I am capable of adjusting my own mindset about their individuality accordingly. And I do it without feeling threatened or that I am taking a loss of some kind.

I am healthy enough to share, whether it be time, energy, resources, or simply whatever the need is in the moment. And I am capable of doing it without feeling like I am somehow lesser for it.

I am healthy enough to set strong boundaries based on my needs and maintain them because that is what is best for me.

I am healthy enough to find my center, always, even when extremes know me around here, there, and everywhere.

I am healthy enough not to accept the blame, scapegoating, or responsibility for things I did not do, and to accept accountability for what I did.

I am healthy enough to be capable of respecting ALL PEOPLE regardless of who they are until they choose to abuse. When you abuse, particularly if you do it repeatedly, then you no longer are entitled to my respect. I am healthy enough to know this without someone else having to tell me.

I am healthy enough to understand that I am not responsible for your perception of me, those are your views, you own them. I am healthy enough to refuse to allow you to project them onto me.

I am healthy enough to be capable of forgiveness, empathy, self-reflection, and compassion even in the face of the most extreme conditions.

I am healthy enough to see through the gaslight, the smokescreen, and the misinformation.

I am healthy enough to consistently choose to put the marginalized first and respect the fact that vulnerable people have a right to life just like anyone else.

I am healthy enough to know how to check my bias before it harms others.

I am healthy enough to learn to address the areas where I am lacking.

I am healthy enough to keep fighting for justice, equality, and the protection of human rights even in the face of extreme violence, oppression, and the constant denial of my humanity.

I am healthy enough to maintain my integrity and to use my knowledge, skills, and abilities in the fight to LEAVE NO ONE BEHIND.

I am healthy enough to not only fight through the constant attacks and extreme oppression but to use the knowledge I have gained to fight for equality rather than choosing harmful thinking and behaviors that violate human rights.

I am healthy enough to use what I have learned to heal, even the extreme torture and trauma.

Where are you?

You have NEVER been where I have been!

You have NEVER seen what I have seen

You do not now, nor will you EVER know what I know.

I don’t look down on you because of it, I simply accept that you can’t keep up.

Why can’t you?

I am healthy enough to know that I am free to be me even when people spend time, energy, resources, manpower, and tax dollars attempting to prevent me from doing so.

Why can’t you?

I am healthy enough to recognize humanity, choose to honor and respect it at all times, and fight for justice when it is denied.

Why can’t you?

I am healthy enough to accept my vulnerabilities and to work on turning them into strengths.

Why can’t you?

I am healthy enough to see my weaknesses, learn how to turn them into strengths, then use them for the benefit of everyone even when I am denied recognition for doing it.

I don’t expect you to rise to that level, but I expect you to recognize when I have.

I am not now, have never been, nor will I ever be your projection. You can’t even face your own ego in order to see the truth but I am supposed to accept abuse from you because you believe you are somehow superior?

I am healthy enough not to allow myself to be forced into something that I know is harmful, regardless of what anyone else thinks. What about you? If you were this healthy you wouldn’t attempt to force anything on me because you would have the knowledge, skills, and abilities to see the harm too.

Which one of us is delusional?

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